The truth about my marriage

My husband and I are a month away from celebrating our one year anniversary. We have been together since September 2007 and since then have endured plenty of hardships and triumphs together over the years. A few months ago all of those "hardships" had finally piled up and we both constantly felt like we could "snap" at any moment.

Being that he is my best friend, husband, father of my child and a great person at heart, I just couldn't imagine ever giving up or divorcing him. Although, the thought for the last few months had crossed my mind. How much easier would it be to just leave? Pack my things and not have to hear the constant arguements and fights! It sounds like a NO brainer. However, we swore ourselves to our daughter that we would and always will make this work.

Our fights were never only anything significant. A combination of work, stress, homeowner ship responsibility, my pregnancy emotions, and fatigue, and the like were constant reasons to argue. One day in particular it got so bad, I did ask him to leave and for the first time I really didn't care if he ever came back. I didn't cry, I just put my daughter down for a nap, and took a nap myself.

He ended up coming back a few hours later. Michael and I have never been ones to really "talk" things out, we end up doing something to make the other person laugh and we just say, "it's OK," even when it's not. Which has been the pitfall in our relationship.

You see, Michael and I really are BEST friends. But, due to "life" and my focus on trying to be the best Mom to Ava, I had forgotten what it meant to be more then friends with my husband. In a relationship it is important to be friends of course. But, you have to also relate emotionally and physically. It's OK to not be strong in front of your soul mate or independent. It's OK to talk and share what you are going through with each other even when you feel like the other person doesn't care (it may surprise you how much they do.) I also had let myself go, with not working as much... I stopped dressing up, doing my hair, makeup, and going places. I became a home body that watched cartoons and did the everyday "mommy thing." We also stopped hugging, kissing, and praying together.

The other day I spoke with a friend who told me to just take the "d" word out of our discussions when it gets bad. We decided to agree to that and have yet to bring up the word. We also have started to pray, kiss, hug, and most of all just talk. It's amazing how much a soft kiss, meaningful conversation, or just a hug can instantly bring you back to the moment you fell in love with your significant other.

We are by no means perfect and we have ALOT to work on. However, we are more then ever willing and able to work on our marriage. First and foremost, we are going to start doing more quality things together, not just family activities. It's important to spend alone time together, even if it's just dinner.

We are also planning on a weekend getaway close to home and a marriage retreat later in the year. Like I said, I have learned many things over these last few weeks about what marriage really means. I hope to learn ALOT more and cherish the special moments we do have together instead of focusing on the bad.

For all of you who are going though the issues, you are not alone. It's OK to say your marriage is not perfect and to get help while you can. Many problems can be solved and dealt with before your marriage falls apart.

Quick Tips For Each Trimester

Things To Do During First Trimester:

1) Rest as much as you can.
2) Read one pregnancy book cover to cover.
3) Check out your insurance benefits and maternity leave options.
4) Sign up for baby websites to start receiving coupons for diapers, lotions, etc.
5) Book your appointments to see your OBGYN

Things To Buy During First Trimester:

1) Belly Band- This was a God send during my last pregnancy, I was able to wear my regular jeans all the way through. This time, I just opted straight for maternity pants. ;)
2) Body Pillow
3) Soft Toothbrush, as your gums are much more sensitive.
4) Sports Bra
5) Cocoa Butter
6) Prenatal Vitamins

Things To Do During Second Trimester:

1) Spread the news if you haven't already.
2) Take a tour of your hospital.
3) Go on a baby moon.
4) Check out baby gear, walk through babies-r-us/target/etc. just to look.
5) Enroll yourself in childbirth/ breastfeeding classes.

Things To Buy During Second Trimester:

1) Buy a pack of diapers every week up until you deliver (we did this with my first and the almost lasted 6 months, it was so nice not having to run out to buy them)
2) Order nursery furniture if you are special ordering as it can take up to 3 months for it come in.
3) Determine who is going to host or if you're going to have a baby shower and have it early enough that way you have time to buy the things that you may not receive at the shower before the baby is due!
4) Maternity clothes

Things To Do During The Third Trimester

1) Complete your maternity benefits and leave paperwork through your job.
2) Pre register at your hospital and take a tour. Know where to go when the big day comes!
3) Limit travel
4) Get your house ready for baby, baby proof as much as you can now.
5) Finish the nursery
6) Relax
7) Get a pedicure
8) Pack your hospital bag
9) Find a pediatrician
10) Take a Childbirth and Breastfeeding class (If this is your plan)

Things To Buy During The Third Trimester:

1) Pedicure
2) Hospital Bag items
3) Baby items that haven't been purchased
4) a MASSAGE :)

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Nutrients Your Baby Needs During Pregnancy

I don't know about you, but I am not much of a "healthy" eater. I often find myself running after a two-year old and much too busy to grab the right things to eat. I catch myself stopping off at a fast-food chain to stuff my face in between activities. I have learned planning ahead, making small snack sized bags and packing them in my purse or daughter's diaper bag I am more willing and able to eat it! Plus, baby needs it now too.

Nutrients Needed During Pregnancy:

Folate- Found in green leafy vegetables, orange juice, and nuts.
Calcium- Found in milk, cheese, yogurt, and sardines (yuck ;-))
Iron- Found in dried beans, red meat, iron-fortified cereals, and prune juice.
Vitamin A- Found in carrots, dark leafy green, and sweet potatoes
Vitamin C- Found in citrus fruits, broccoli, tomatoes, and strawberries.
Vitamin D- Found in Vitamin D milk
Vitamin B6- Found in beef, liver, pork, whole-grain cereals, and bananas.
Vitamin B12- Found in liver, meat, fish, poultry, and milk.
Vitamin E- Found in hazelnuts, almonds, oils from canola, and sunflower seeds
Choline- Found in eggs, chicken, broccoli, peanuts, and cauliflower.

6 Superfoods that are packed with Vitamins and Nutrients:

1) Whole Grains- oatmeal, brown rice, whole grain bread.
2) Beans- Black, soy, white, kidney, lentils, and black eyed peas.
3) Eggs
4) Salmon
5) Berries- blueberries, strawberries, raspberries, and blackberries
6) Low-Fat Yogurt- plain is best as it has less sugar.